


I'll be home soon

by Lalalaartje



Category: One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Dad Harry, Established Relationship, Football Player Louis, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 15:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1554530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalalaartje/pseuds/Lalalaartje
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson, 28, is an internationally successful football player for Stoke city and the English national team. He's openly gay and happily married to Harry Styles, who sacrificed his career to support his husband and raise their children. </p>
<p>When Louis' football career starts really kicking off, needing him to train a lot, go on international trips with the team, his family seems to be getting in second place. </p>
<p>Will Harry still be happy with a second place? Will he still be willing to sacrifice everything for a husband who's never there and kids that start asking where their other dad is?</p>
<p>What if Louis gets an opportunity he can't refuse, but that requires him to move abroad?</p>
<p>Choices have to be made, fights be fought and tears will be shed. Who will win this game, and is there even a winner?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sorry I suck at summaries.<br/>This is the edited version of my story on Wattpad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheCellarDoor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCellarDoor/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the slightly edited version of the story I posted on Wattpad. Thanks to TheCellarDoor for sparking my want to write again with her story. <3

The spot next to him in bed was empty when Harry woke up at 7am, his sleep disturbed by the small noises of their youngest. It was nothing new for him to wake up alone, especially on the weekends when Louis always left at the crack of dawn to prepare for the match to come. At least he had been home at a decent time yesterday, providing the two with some much needed quality time with each other. Too bad the kids had already been asleep when he’d walked in the door.

He rubbed his eyes with his fists, trying to get rid of the blur of sleep and launched himself out of bed, crossing the room to let his daughter know that he was up and about, and soon would provide her with food. Amy’s bright smile was what made it all worthwhile, the long days, short nights and lonely times when Louis was away for his football. He grinned back at her and ruffled the short hair before he picked her up, pulling a face at the smell coming from her obviously full diaper.

Everything fell into its usual routine from then off, change the diaper, warm the bottle, feed Amy, wake up Jack and Beth, have breakfast with the eldest kids and get all of them dressed to go outside. It always was a struggle, Beth refusing to wear the dress Louis had picked out for her, Jack trying to get out of the clothes Harry had just put on him and to top it all off, Amy spitting all over the clean shirt he’d just pulled on. After an hour or so, he finally managed to get all three kids in the car and ready to leave, his own hair and shirt disheveled and wearing only one sock because he couldn’t find the other one, but at least they were on their way to the stadium.

Harry couldn’t remember when his life had turned into this. When he had met Louis 8 years ago, he was a promising football talent but not much more than that. Harry had just started law school and he pictured his future self as some socially engaged lawyer, maybe in environmental law. Louis and Harry got married right after college, and their decision to have kids was soon followed by adopting the 2 year old Beth.  
Harry had worked as an intern in a big law firm for almost a year, trying to juggle his job and his family and he liked to think he did a fairly good job at it too. That was until Louis got scouted to play for Stoke city, a premier league club, and of course he couldn’t turn that opportunity down. It would relieve him from the job at Tesco’s he hated and at the same time provide them with enough money to buy a bigger house. Harry tried working for a little while after that, but it became harder and harder. Louis would never make it on time to pick Beth up from daycare, causing Harry having to run after work and face the angry caretakers because he was late, again. He loved Louis, though, so he thought about it long and hard, talked it through with his mum, his best friends and of course Louis before he decided to resign and become a stay at home dad. That way, Louis could maintain and even build out his career without the family having to suffer from it. A year later, Jack came into their small family, he was adopted by them when he was only a couple of days old, and Louis took a month off to welcome him home.

Harry’s quiet time reminiscing behind the wheel was soon interrupted by loud wails coming from Jack, accusing his older sister of taking away his teddy bear. Even though they weren’t biologically related, Jack had definitely picked up on Louis’ dramatic tendencies and it proved to be a difficult task to calm him down with only one free arm, reaching for the back seat while driving because they were almost late as it was. He tried really, really hard to calm down the three year old before Amy woke up from her nap and would start crying as well, and luckily succeeded after promising all of them ice cream and orange juice.

He parked in his usual spot - thank god at least Louis’ star player position came with that privilege - unbuckled the kids and made his way towards the dressing rooms with the baby carrier in one hand, Jack clinging to his leg and Beth reluctantly holding his other hand. The scowl on her face disappeared as soon as the door to the dressing room opened and she was immediately fussed over by Louis’ team mates. He was one of the few who already had kids and the other guys couldn’t resist a cute little girl’s face if they tried.

Louis turned around as soon as he heard them come in and shot the four of them a brilliant smile before he enveloped Jack in a hug and reached up to kiss Harry on the lips. He put Jack in his lap and threw a look in the baby carrier to smile at the still sleeping Amy.

“Harry, are you aware that you’re wearing two different shoes?” he asked amused once he noticed that his husband was wearing a brown and a black boot.

Harry looked down and instantly felt a blush creep on his cheeks. “Yes, absolutely, it’s the latest fashion trend!” he tried, but he knew that Louis would see through his excuse right away. Louis just sniggered and pulled him down for another kiss.

“I’m sure you could make it a fashion trend though, handsome,” he winked. “Madhouse this morning again?”

“Hmmm.” Harry nodded. “Beth wouldn’t wear that dress and Jack didn’t like being dressed at all. At least Amy is being easy to handle.” He sighed and threw a fond look in the carrier he had now put down on the floor.

“That’s until her Tomlinson genes kick in and she starts resembling me,” Louis teased and Harry rolled his eyes.

The little family time they had was interrupted by the team’s coach coming in, so Harry gathered his kids again and left for their places on the bleachers after another quick kiss on Louis’ lips. Ice creams and cartons of orange juice bought, he finally fell down on his seat, Jack on his right side, Beth on his left and Amy on his lap. This time at least he remembered to put a cloth onto his shoulder so her spit or puke wouldn’t ruin yet another shirt. Trying to look presentable was proving to be a challenge these days.

He watched as Louis and his team ran onto the field and was catapulted back in time, to that first time he’d seen Louis play. It was a long time ago, and they were both much younger and more naïve, but he had to admit that Louis’ ass still looked mighty fine in those football shorts. He bit his bottom lip at the dirty thoughts invading his mind as he waved back to his husband on the field below. Lucky for him, Beth was already quite the football fan so she kept quiet, licking her ice cream and drinking her juice while she watched her dad play, but to Jack even the first half was too long to remain still in his seat. He didn’t understand very much of what was going on on the field, and after about twenty minutes he was whining and trying to climb Harry, his orange juice spilling over Harry’s white T-shirt and his ice cream stained mouth leaving stains all over him.

“Just great,” Harry sighed as he grabbed his son under the arms and pulled him onto his lap, rearranging Amy to make room for the both of them.

\--

“Daaaaad, can I have another ice cream?” it was half time and there wasn’t much to see on the field, so Beth had refocused her attention on him, and on her lack of any food at hand.

“No, you already had one, we’ll be having lunch as soon as we’re back home.” Harry replied, a sleeping toddler on one leg and a babbling baby on the other.

“But dad I’m hungry now!” Beth all but yelled, stomping her feet and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“You can have a bottle of water, I have some in the diaper bag,” Harry replied calmly.

“I don’t like water, I want orange juice!” she protested, and even though Harry knew that this was just a phase that would blow over sooner or later, it still got on his nerves.

“Shall I take her to get another juice? We can make a stop at the bathroom too, if you’d like,” a female voice offered, and as Harry turned around he recognized her as one of Louis’ teammates' girlfriend.

“Would you? That would be marvelous!” Harry admitted and smiled gratefully as she grabbed Beth’s hand and led her towards the hallway.

\--

“I had two packs of juice.” Beth bragged as Louis came to find them at the side of the field after the match. They’d won three to one so the atmosphere in the stadium was bright and happy.

“Did you now? Well that means you’re a very lucky girl then!” Louis answered, picking his eldest daughter up, ignoring her protest because she really was too big to be carried around by her dad. “Orange looks good on you,” he smirked towards Harry, noticing the stains from Jack’s juice all over his torso.

Harry simply stuck his tongue out, but his face and good mood fell as soon as Louis said his next sentence. “Didn’t we agree on only one juice per day, though?”

He sighed. “Yes, but really, they were being a handful and there was no other way to…”

“We’ll discuss this later.” Louis simply cut off his reply before turning to the kids to talk to them.

Tears were burning behind his eyes, but Harry bit them back, refusing to cry here, especially in front of the kids and all of Louis’ teammates. He plastered on a smile and directed his attention to Jack as he clung to his leg.

“When are you coming home Lou?” he asked once Louis had put Beth back on the ground and ruffled Jack’s hair in goodbye.

“I don’t know Harry, you know I can’t tell that. I’ll try to be home for dinner, alright?” Louis answered, annoyance seeping through in his voice.

Harry nodded. “Yeah, okay. Will you call if you can’t make it before their bed time though? They missed you yesterday.”

“I’ll try, Harry.” Harry didn’t even get a kiss goodbye before Louis turned around and he knew that was because he had pissed Louis off by asking him to come home to them, but he just missed him, and the kids missed him as well. He couldn’t help it.


	2. Two

One of the reasons why Harry loved the mei tai baby-carrier they’d bought when Jack was little, was that it allowed him to do the household and still keep the baby close. Amy loved sitting on his back and was always calm and quiet if she was in it while he cooked or cleaned.

He was preparing their dinner when he heard the front door open, followed by Jack’s quick footsteps and his gleeful cry. “Dad!” Louis’ chuckle sounded in the living room, only faltering slightly when Beth didn’t seem to pay him much attention while watching a television show. Harry couldn’t understand what he was saying, but smiled as he saw his husband walk into their kitchen, holding up a bag of Harry’s favourite crisps. Louis pressed a quick kiss to Amy’s forehead to be rewarded with one of those brilliant smiles of hers and then pulled his husband close with an arm around his waist.

“Hey.” Harry said softly, glad that for once Louis was home for dinner and before the kids had to be put to bed.

“Hey,” Louis replied, his voice soft and sounding a little nervous. “Sorry for uhm, for this morning. I had no right to call you out on the orange juice, I know they can be hard to handle.”

Harry looked up from the pan and turned to face Louis, finding him biting his bottom lip like he always did when he was nervous. Or horny, but that obviously wasn’t the case right now. He looked incredibly handsome and sexy in his jeans and the oversized jumper he had obviously stolen from Harry’s part of the wardrobe, and Harry cursed inwardly for he couldn’t ever keep a grudge against his husband. “It’s fine. I’m glad you’re home now.” He smiled, receiving a broad smile back.

“Yeah, me too.”

Dinner was ready only minutes later, and it all went smoothly with Louis being home to set the table and help feeding the terrible trio. Even Beth let go of her grudge against Louis and discussed the match with him. It was something Harry had noticed about her lately. She was never really outwardly angry or sad, never cried or complained when Louis wasn’t home to tuck her in once again, but she just seemed to shut him out. As if she was trying to forget that he was her dad as well. The anger was there though, and it was mostly directed towards Harry since he was the one who was around all the time. He had contemplated talking to Louis about it, but he didn’t want to ruin the little time they had together because of it, so he kept it inside, hoping it’d blow over.

As usual when Louis was home in time, it was him that bathed the two eldest and put them to bed with a story while Harry cleaned up a little in the kitchen and the living room, only being called to give them a good night kiss before he fed Amy her eight o’ clock bottle. He smiled at Louis when he finally fell down on the couch next to him.

“She hates me.” He groaned and Harry frowned a bit before he understood what Louis was talking about. He held Amy up and gently patted her back to make her burp as she shuffled closer to his husband so he could put his head on his shoulder.

“She doesn’t hate you, she just misses you a lot, Lou.”

“And she hates me because of it.” He replied stubbornly, evoking a sigh and an eye roll from Harry.

“No, she doesn’t. She’s just… angry, and sad. But she was alright once you two started talking, no?”

“I suppose.” He sulked.

“Come on Lou, don’t do this. Let’s just enjoy our evening together, alright?”

“Yeah, okay.” He decided and got up to get a bottle of wine and the crisps he’d brought earlier, bringing them inside together with two glasses while Harry put Amy in her crib in their bedroom, turning the baby monitor up so they’d hear her when she woke up for her last bottle. “Best thing about having no boobies for breast feeding,” Louis joked as Harry joined him again. “At least we can drink alcohol without having to worry we’ll pass it to her.”

Harry chuckled and took out a blanket before he cuddled up to his lover. “Yeah, that and the fact that you would look really weird with boobs. Though you have a bit of a feminine ass…” he ducked away from Louis’ slapping hand and giggled before he pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. “I missed you too, you know.”

“I know…” Louis sighed. “I really wish I could be home more, but the season’s just really busy and our most important matches are coming up soon so we really have a lot of training to do, and then there’s some promotional stuff for the Champions league and the national team as well.” He rambled, excusing himself for the lack of time spent with his family.

“Lou… I know all that, okay, and I know it’s your job and I knew that when you said yes to their offer. I was just saying that I missed you.” Harry interrupted, his hand on Louis’ arm to calm him down a little.

“I miss you too. I wish Amy was still only a couple of days old so we could have an entire month together without me having to go out for practice.” He sighed.

“I can’t believe how fast she’s growing, did it go this fast with Jack too?” Harry muttered, genuinely surprised by how much their daughter had changed already since the day she was born.

“Yeah, one day he was a baby and the next he was running around the playground, or so it seemed.” Louis answered, suddenly feeling sorry about how much he had to miss from their kids. They were quiet for a bit, both just sipping their wine and munching on crisps. “Harry?” Louis sat up, turning his torso towards Harry, his eyes wide and a bit of an anxious look in his eyes.

“Hmmm?”

“You know I love you, right?” there was a sense of urgency to his question, as if he suddenly felt that he had been neglecting his husband and was afraid that maybe one day they wouldn’t be there when he came home.

Harry turned and cupped Louis’ cheek, bending sideways to put his glass on the coffee table before he put his other hand on Louis’ other cheek. He leaned in and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to Louis’ lips. “Yes, Louis, of course I know you love me. I love you too.”

“Okay. Yeah. Okay.” Louis nodded, relieved and feeling a bit elated for his sudden ridiculous panic attack. Harry smiled at him and repeated the kiss once more, and again, and again.

That night was the first time in long that they made love. It was sweet and kind, and slow. They both ignored how tired they were, and the fact that they had to remain silent not to wake Amy up made it even more intense. Harsh, quickened breathing, pants and silenced moans sounded through the bedroom for what seemed like hours, until they both fell down to the mattress, tired but oh so satisfied.

\--

Harry tried hard not to be surprised when he woke up the next morning, not because of Amy but because of his alarm clock for once. He found Louis with Amy in the living room and watched the two for a while from the doorway. He was so cute and sexy at the same time, feeding her and talking to her all the while through. Harry couldn’t understand what it was exactly that he was telling her, but it sounded happy and sweet. “Morning.” He finally said, making Louis look up at him in surprise.

“Morning.” He chirped happily. “Is it time already?”

“Hmmm." Harry pushed himself up from the doorway and walked towards his husband for a morning kiss. "Yeah, Beth should be woken up soon for school, and I wanted to take Jack to the toddler gym. Don’t you have practice or something?”

Louis shook his head. “Only an interview at 4 this afternoon. Can you make her burp? Then I’ll go wake up Beth, if that’s okay with you?” he sounded uncertain and smiled relieved when Harry nodded.

“Sure, go ahead.” He smiled as he took Amy from Louis and watched him walk upstairs to get the other two ready.

Harry had put Amy in her bouncer on the kitchen table while he made breakfast. Not having to watch two kids running around and arguing provided him with the opportunity to make some porridge, Louis’ favourite breakfast, if he remembered correctly. Half an hour later, the three musketeers came into the kitchen, all three dressed impeccably, making Harry jealous of Louis because why on earth could he do what Harry couldn’t? Beth had agreed to put on Louis’ favourite dress, something she always refused when Harry asked her, and Jack wasn’t even trying to get his T-shirt back off. Today seemed to become a good day.

The couple dropped off Beth at school, 10 minutes early even, and noticed that Jack had fallen back asleep in his car seat. They shared a fond smile and a quick kiss before Harry started the car again.

“Shall I drop you off at home before I take Jack to the toddler gym?” Harry questioned, looking around to make sure he didn’t hit another car as he exited the school parking lot.

“Uhm, I, uhm, I was actually wondering if I could come with you? I mean, if that’s okay? I only have to be at the club at 4, so I have some time I could spend with the three of you, if you’d like?” The uncertainty in Louis’ voice almost brought Harry to tears, to know that his husband also struggled with being away from his family this much. But it also comforted him, that he wasn’t alone having difficulties with it. He put his hand on Louis’ thigh and squeezed it.

“I’d love it if you’d come with us, and so will Jack, I’m sure.” He smiled reassuringly as he drove straight to the gym.

Louis seemed a bit out of his comfort zone when Harry walked in, Amy in her stroller seat, blinking slowly against the sun that had come out and Jack on his hand. The rest of the group consisted mostly of young women, in their late twenties or early thirties, carrying one or two children just like they were. Harry seemed to know all of them as he said hello and asked about their husbands, problems with recipes or even how their sewing projects were coming along.

It was kind of an epiphany for Louis, to see his Harry in what seemed to be his natural habitat. Harry flourished here, fitting in seamlessly with all the other parents that came here to have a good time with their kids. Louis felt a bit out of place though, not entirely sure what to say to the other parents after exchanging names and greetings, so he was happy to be the one to accompany Jack around the gym.   
Meanwhile Harry waited on the benches at the side, chatting easily and keeping Amy happy with food and attention and the incidental nappy change.

He loved seeing Louis like that, carefree and joking and fooling around with their son, helping him climb some of the obstacles and even jumping the trampoline with him. Harry would’ve been worried that Jack was about to die from a laughing fit when Louis kept jumping around after Jack had fallen, making him bounce up and down time and time again, but the glee that radiated from the two was worth millions.

\--

“Thanks for today, I really had fun.” Harry smiled as he pulled to a stop outside the stadium, dropping off Louis for his interview. They’d spent the rest of the day shopping and on the playground, just enjoying their time together with the kids, and Louis had even proposed going for an ice cream when they’d picked Beth up from school. He was now 10 minutes late, but he wasn’t even grumpy about it.

“Me too.” Louis smiled warmly and leaned in for a kiss, bending himself backwards to kiss the kids as well before he got out of the car. “Keep some dinner for me, okay? I’ll be home soon.” He promised and waved before he walked inside, the entire family feeling happy and warm inside.


	3. Three

The living room was dark when Harry woke up from the tune of the late news broadcast. It was past midnight, meaning he'd been asleep on the couch for at least two hours.

He picked up the glasses and the bottle of wine he'd taken out but never touched and took them back to the kitchen where Louis' dinner was still waiting for him on the kitchen counter.

Another broken promise. Harry had honestly tried to keep the kids up as long as possible, hoping that Louis would come home before they were asleep. When Jack had fallen asleep with his head on top of his toys and Beth couldn't stop yawning even if she tried hard, he knew he had no other choice. Beth had begged him to talk to Louis, so he'd called him, but he never picked up. His heart had broken when Beth hadn't even cried, she'd just nodded when he told her he couldn't reach her dad and crawled into bed, gripping her plush dragon and squeezing her eyes shut. He'd kissed her goodnight and went back to the living room to wait for Louis, because he'd said he'd be home soon, and how much longer could that be?

Long, apparently. Harry was just on his way to the bedroom when he heard Louis' key turning in the lock of the front door. He leaned against the banister, waiting for Louis to come inside and find him there. He wasn't sure how to look, angry, sad or just disappointed. All three feelings were swarming inside him and he didn't know which one was strongest. He could tell Louis didn't expect him to be still awake from the way he silently toed off his shoes in the foyer and softly opened and closed the cupboard to hang his coat.

“Harry!” he sounded surprised, and maybe even somewhat scared. His hair was a mess but at least he didn't smell of alcohol like that time last month when he had promised to be home for dinner.

“Louis. I saved you dinner, like you asked. I do think it's cold now though, after waiting for you to come home for about six hours. Have a nice meal.” His voice was cold and distant, and he could see that Louis was taken aback by it.

“Harry...” he tried desperately, grabbing his thin wrist as he turned to walk upstairs.

“What, Louis?” it sounded more harsh than he had intended, but well, he supposed Louis should know how angry he was right now.

“I'm sorry, okay? I really wanted to come home after the interview, but then they called a meeting about the training camp for the national team so I had to stay and it really lasted until half an hour ago, I swear!”

“Newsflash, Louis, this isn't the seventies. You have a cellphone and I have one too. We even have a landline. You could have called or even texted. Hell, even just answering my calls would've been absolutely brilliant..”

“I'm sorry, I didn't have time.”

“Bad excuse, Louis.” he shook his head, having to push his curls back as they fell in front of his eyes. It was weird to fight like this, with hushed voices not to wake the kids up, but it wasn't like it was the first time this happened. “Do you have any idea what it feels like to put your 6 year old daughter to bed after she heard once again that her dad won't be home to kiss her goodnight? How hard it is to see her put on a mask because she finds herself too tough to cry? I don't even care if you break a promise to me Louis, but if you break their hearts, it breaks mine a hundred times worse.”

“I'm sorry.” It was barely more than a whisper but Harry heard it. He huffed and turned around to go to bed.

“Tell Beth and Jack that, Louis. Goodnight.”

“I'll be up in a bit.”

“Whatever. Oh, in case you forgot, it's Beth's birthday next week, it would be nice if you could make the effort to come home for dinner for once.” he stormed upstairs almost forgetting to close the door softly in order not to wake up the children and pulled his clothes off before he flung himself on the bed, letting silent tears escape his eyes now that he could. He didn't hear Louis' quiet reply, telling him he did remember Beth's birthday.

He was angry, yes, and sad and disappointed, but most of all he was so tired of all of this. He was tired of waiting for Louis to come home, tired of hoping that he would be there for the kids, tired of comforting them when he wasn't there, once again and tired of fighting him about all of it. Of course there were times that were better, perfect even, like yesterday evening or today, but they were far too scarce to really make up for all the bad times.

Four more months, he told himself, and then there was summer recess, meaning Louis would be home more often, four more months he had to try and stay strong. It would get better, it always did.

 

–

 

Louis woke up to an empty house the next morning. He hadn't woken up from Harry's alarm clock or Amy's crying, and since it was almost ten, Harry would've taken Beth to school and gone God knew where. He flung his legs out of bed and dragged himself into the shower, feeling more than a little shattered after a night with barely any sleep. It had been light outside when he'd finally been able to drift off. Even in the shower he couldn't stop thinking about their argument. It wasn't only about yesterday, and he knew that. It wasn't the first time that he had failed to keep his promise, that he'd forgotten to call because managers dragged him around from interview to meeting and back and he knew Harry hated that. He knew he was hurting his family because of it, but he didn't know how to stop it. Not as long as he was the team captain and their number one promo-guy. They'd told him about a practice camp in Spain for the national team yesterday, and he'd only been able to change the dates from next week to two weeks later after hours of mediating and persuading. He'd been proud of himself, and glad that now he would at least be home for Beth's birthday, but the argument with Harry last night had wiped all of that out. Did it even matter? He would be gone for three entire weeks anyway, three weeks without Harry, without the kids. He wondered bitterly if Amy would even recognize him when he came back. He rinsed the shampoo from his hair before he shut the water off and got dressed.

Once downstairs, he grabbed a bowl of cereal, and decided to make lunch for Harry, Jack and himself. He supposed it could be considered a reconciliation offer, and he could only hope it'd work.

 

Harry did a double take when he found Louis in the kitchen, the smell of grilled cheese filling the entire house as they came home from the grocery store. His eyes widened when he saw the large variety of vegetables and potato salad on the table and he was lost for words.

Jack stood up on his tip toes, stole a cherry tomato from a bowl and ran off to the couch where he'd left his puzzle earlier this morning.

“Hello.” Louis greeted him with a sheepish smile.

“Uh, yeah, hey,” Harry replied. “Thanks for making lunch, I suppose.”

“No problem, I had some time left after I woke up and before I have to go to work.” he smiled. He hadn't been expecting much enthusiasm, but it still stung that Harry didn't even give him a kiss before he started putting away the groceries.

Louis stood awkwardly at the counter, waiting for Harry to be done, since he didn't know where to put everything. He cursed inwardly that Harry'd left Amy in her playpen in the living room because now he didn't even have her as a distraction.

 

The silence was heavy as they all sat down for lunch, Louis tried his hardest to help feed Jack but he felt the need to apologize every time his hand bumped against Harry while doing so. Finally, it was time for him to leave, and he almost felt relieved at that.

“What time do you expect to be home?” Harry asked, his voice not really hostile, but not exactly friendly either.

“Uhm, around ten, at the latest, I think. I'll try to call before bed time, though.” Louis replied, praying that this time he wouldn't forget to call.

“Okay I'll be expecting your call, and I'll save you some dinner for when you come home.”

“Yeah, thanks. See you tonight.”

“Bye, Louis.” He did get a kiss this time, although it felt nothing like the loving, lingering kisses he loved so much from Harry.

 

\---

“Hello?”

“Hey, it's me, Beth and Jack are still awake, right?” Louis asked hopefully.

He could almost hear Harry's smile from the other end of the line. “Yeah, they're just out of their bath, I'll get you Jack first, so you can talk to Beth while I put him to bed.”

“Thanks, Haz.”

His conversation with his son was rather short, and consisted mostly of Jack babbling about toy cars and dinosaurs, but it was nice to have this talk with him, until Harry interrupted them by telling Jack it was time to get to bed.

It took him a while to win Beth over after last night's fiasco, but finally she mellowed and at least answered his questions about school and about what she wanted for her birthday. After fifteen minutes, she too was shooed off to bed by Harry, who took the phone from her while she went to brush her teeth.

“Thanks for calling, Lou, it means a lot, for all of us.”

“I know, for me as well.”

“Will you be home late again?”

“No, I don't think so. Will you wait up? We uhm... we have some things to talk about.” He really didn't want to bring it up, but he knew he had to discuss that stupid training camp in Spain with Harry. Sure, they had offered to bring his family, but he couldn't take Beth out of school for three weeks, and Harry definitely wouldn't agree to it either, not with the way things were going lately.

“I'll wait up for you boo. Drive safe, okay?”

Louis nodded, temporarily stunned by the use of his nickname that had to mean that he was at least on better terms with his husband, before he remembered Harry couldn't see.

“Yeah, always. I have to get going now though, see you in an hour or two!” he greeted before he hung up, that dreadful feeling in his chest at least temporarily lifted.


	4. Four

It would have been a regular Sunday morning, if not for a few details. For instance, Louis and Harry didn't wake up in the same bed. They hadn't ever since Louis had told Harry about his three week absence for the practice camp. Harry knew he wasn't being rational about it, but there wasn't much rational about feeling angry and betrayed and abandoned, was there? So they had been fighting all week, and thus Louis had been sleeping in the spare bedroom.

It had hurt yesterday, when Harry and the kids had come to the football match and Harry didn't so much as look at Louis when they'd come down to the field to congratulate him on winning. Louis really wished there was more he could do but he felt trapped between his job and what was required from him there and his family. Of course he missed them too, but no matter how hard he tried to be home more often, there was always something coming up to prevent him from it.

He'd been woken up by a soft knock on his door half an hour earlier and even after his shower he still looked and felt like crap. Sleeping in a bed without Harry had always been difficult, even when he was miles from home, but Harry being just in the next room made it even worse. He gave up on trying to look decent and just went downstairs to the kitchen, knowing that was where he'd find Harry.

“Morning,” he greeted his husband who seemed so much like a stranger now. And for the first time in 5 days he received a smile in return. It wasn't very enthusiastic and it certainly was nowhere near their usual lingering morning kisses, but it was at least something. “Anything I can do?”

Amy was babbling to herself in her playpen in the other room, being her usual cheery self while they worked together on Beth's birthday breakfast. It wasn't her birthday until Tuesday, but since that was a school day they'd decided to celebrate it today, with a breakfast in bed and a nice picnic at the park later that day. They'd keep it low profile, just their family, grandparents and aunties and a couple of their friends that had known them ever since they first started going out.

-

It was rather warm for a Sunday in early April, and finally Louis' efforts seemed to pay off. Not only had he received more smiles from Harry, looking more and more genuine as the day progressed, they had been sitting next to each other on the picnic blanket and as Louis' mother brought out the cake for the birthday girl, Harry had even given him a little kiss that spoke off 'where the hell has time gone so fast?'. Their daughter was turning seven already, making them incredibly proud but it left them feeling slightly old as well.

They were both fooling around with the kids, playing tag with Beth while Jack ran along, not entirely grasping the concept of the game yet, smiles on their faces and laughter filling the air when Louis heard it.

He knew that sound all too well and he'd grown to hate it. Especially around his family. He took a quick look at their families and friends but his fears were soon confirmed. No one was holding a camera, and that could mean only one thing: press. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked around frantically, trying to locate the source of the clicking tell tale sound. He saw some bushes rustling a few feet away and was about to run after the photographer but was held back by Harry.

“Don't, okay? We'll deal with the pictures when they come out but let's not ruin Beth's party now.” he spoke sternly, holding his husband by the shoulder, pulling him close to his own body.

Louis took a deep breath and nodded, needing a minute to pull himself back together before resuming their game. If Beth had noticed anything of it, she at least didn't show it and just continued her careless banter.

-

The three kids were all taken to bed by both their dads that evening, something that wasn't very common and they all seemed to know it was something to enjoy and savour. For one day, they could at least pretend they were a normal, happy family.

“Well, goodnight then.” Louis spoke once he had put Amy down in her crib in the corner of their bedroom after her last bottle for the day. He had almost reached the door when Harry's voice pulled him back.

“Wait!” he spoke, his voice barely louder than a whisper but the sense of urgency sounding through no matter what. “Stay? Please?” So Louis nodded and turned around, discarding his clothes and sliding under the covers. He let out a sigh that was mirrored by Harry once their bodies fell into their places next to each others, dips and curves feeling familiar under stroking hands.

-

The rest of the week went by rather uneventful, the two lovers silently finding their ways back to each other as Louis made every possible effort to come home in time for dinner or at least children's bedtime. Even the news that Louis would have to leave for Spain on Tuesday already instead of the week after couldn't ruin their moods. It were good days, making them almost forget about that photographer intruding their party on Sunday, silently hoping the pictures weren't worth publishing after all.

They were obviously wrong. That next Sunday, Stoke City had lost the match at Manchester United, much as had been expected, but it still stung. Especially for Louis since Harry and the kids hadn't been able to come and watch him because Jack was coming down with a fever and it wouldn't be very healthy to let him sit out an entire match out in the cold. It was on the bus back that one of his team mates flung a copy of The Sun on Sunday in his lap, folded open upon a page large picture of him and his family. They were all laughing as Beth was chasing Harry in their game of tag, her cute face crystal clear on the grainy paper. He gritted his teeth in anger. This was not what he had signed up for. He understood there was a price that came with fame and a successful career in football, but he should be the one to pay it, not his family. He could bare Harry being dragged into it, after all he was an adult and old enough to deal with the consequences, but not their kids. Especially not Beth, who already was so fragile but too stubborn to show it.

This was why he had agreed to photo sessions with his family twice a year, when they could prepare them for it and when they could decide what they wanted to show. He thought he had a deal with the press, but clearly that was a one sided deal.

 

One call to his manager was all it took to set up a press conference at the Stoke City stadium, and it gave him a weird sense of pleasure to see all the cars parked when the bus pulled up in front of the players' entrance. He said a quick goodbye to his team mates, and walked into the lounge where he found his manager who greeted him with a curious look on his face. Louis hadn't bothered telling him what this was about, but he'd find out soon enough.

Louis Tomlinson had sass, and whoever hadn't known before, certainly knew after that press conference. It was even broadcasted in the sports bulletin that evening, although he hadn't said much more that if they didn't leave his family alone, he'd sue their asses and make sure they never got a decent picture of him or his family ever again.

-

He hadn't expected it to be broadcasted on TV, and he even felt a bit ashamed when he sat on the couch with Harry, watching himself fume over the picture that had been published this morning. He felt at home, curled up against Harry who always seemed to fold around him like a blanket, hiding his face in his soft jumper when he heard the news anchor announce his press conference with a bit of a smirk. As if she was making fun of him. He supposed it was a bit ridiculous, looking back at it, and perhaps a bit over reacted, but hey, he had done what he had in a reflex to defend his family, and he couldn't be blamed for wanting to do that, right?

 

“I fucking can't believe you.” Harry's voice startled him, but not even half as much as the words he pronounced.

“Harry, I was just angry, I'd just seen those pictures and I wanted to tell them that...”

“I fucking can't believe you Louis. This could've gone by fairly unnoticed, it wasn't front page, and the pictures weren't that intimate. But no, you had to go and make a big deal out of it, and now the pictures are shown on news broadcasts and they probably will be printed in every single paper in the morning. Don't you realize what you're doing?” he was fuming and he didn't even make the effort of keeping his voice down, but luckily the kids were all upstairs in bed and they would need a bomb dropping to be woken up anyway.

“Harry, I just...”

“Fuck you Louis, you're just so stupid sometimes! You think you're protecting them, protecting us all but in fact you're only making it worse. You definitely gave that photographer the time of his life, he'll probably even get promoted over this. Great job, really.” And with that, Harry stormed off, leaving Louis in a whimpering mess on the couch, until he decided he'd better try and get some sleep in the spare room.

 

-

 

Two days later, Louis found himself on a bus to Spain. He'd claimed himself a double seat to curl up on, close enough to the front so he'd be left out of the banter that always went on in the back because well, boys will be boys, even when they were professional football players on their way to a three week practice camp. His earphones were pressed in tightly as he curled up in his oversized jumper, one that he had stolen from Harry in replacement for a goodbye kiss. A stray tear rolled over his cheek when the sweet voice of Carla Bruni invaded his ears and his mind.

_C'est qu'elqu'un qui m'a dit que tu m'aimais encore_

_serais ce possible alors?_

And for the first time in 8 years, Louis Tomlinson really wondered if it was still true, that Harry loved him.


	5. Five

"Come on Tommo! Work that lazy ass of yours for once!" Jake yelled at him across the field, accompanied by a wide grin as he passed the ball to him. Louis smirked as he caught the ball with his left foot and ran off with it, wiggling his bum exaggeratedly as he did so, evoking loud laughter from his team mates around him.

He'd felt guilty at first, of course. For leaving his family behind, for having fun playing football all day with his team mates and for not being able to talk to Harry. It wasn't that he didn't try. He'd called at least twice every day, but got Harry's voice mail or the answering machine every single time, making it fairly obvious that Harry was still angry with him. When his coach had told him off about being distracted after five days in Spain, he'd realised he had to make a change and pay more attention to his game and less to his family, no matter how hard that was. So he pushed back the guilt and the sadness and just played. Louis was good at football and he knew it, making it one of the things he enjoyed the most.

After another two hours, they were finally done for the afternoon, and all boys jogged to the dressing room, yearning for a shower. Louis quickly stripped, throwing his sweaty shorts and shirt next to his bag and making a bee line for the shower.

"Awwww Louis, that ass reminds me of my girlfriend's!" it was only one of many comments he received as he passed through the line of his friends, all of them slapping his bum as he went. He just rolled his eyes, used to their banter and secretly enjoying the compliments about his bum. Because you could say whatever you wanted, he was far from perfect, but if there was one thing about his body that he loved, it was his bum. Not in the least because Harry loved it even more. He bit on his lip at the thought of Harry, but quickly pushed it to the back of his head until he was alone in his room, when he could make another attempt at calling home.

\---

"Goodnight pumpkin, sweet dreams," Harry said fondly to his eldest daughter before he flicked off the light in her bedroom. It had been a week since Louis'd left, and even though Harry had to admit he'd left some kind of void in their life and their house, he'd decided not to miss him. Nor allow the kids to miss him. Therefore he had ignored all of Louis' calls, letting them go to voice mail or the answering machine of which he'd turned down the volume. He wasn't going to let Beth and Jack get used to their dad calling on a regular basis when he just knew that in a couple of days Louis would stop calling and forget about them all together. He just wasn't.

He sighed as the red light of the answering machine blinked at him on his entry in the living room. Another message from Louis, no doubt. He pressed the play button on his way to the kitchen, going there to finish the dishes and make Amy's 8 o'clock bottle. Some of Louis' voice was drained out by the clanking of porcelain and cutlery, but it still caused a dull ache in Harry's chest.

Hey Haz, it's me. You're probably busy with dinner or putting the kids to bed, the schedule here and the time difference is confusing me a bit. I just... I wanted to let you know that I've been thinking of you today, and of the kids as well, of course. I miss you. I miss coming home to you and being able to hold you and kiss you, to hear Beth's stories about school and Jack's crazy ramblings about dinosaurs. I miss looking down into Amy's blue eyes as she lazily blinks at me when I feed her. I miss you. All of you. You could call me back if you'd like, everyone's going out tonight, but I just don't feel like it, so I'll be here. I wish you would call me, Haz, I really do... Well, I better leave you to it, I suppose. I love you... Bye...

Harry couldn't help the silent tear rolling down on his cheek, he couldn't help the ache in his chest growing bigger with every kind word from Louis. But he could help what he did with it. He was sick of it all, sick and tired and he'd decided he'd no longer let it get to him. Obviously Louis couldn't protect their family from all the downsides that came with his football career, so Harry would.

His fingers hovered over the call button of his phone for a few seconds before he realised he had pulled Louis' contact information up by accident. He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds, recollecting himself before he cancelled and looked for his mum's contact instead.

"Hello Harry, how are you holding up?" his mum knew that Louis had left, and she also was very aware of the trouble the couple had sometimes because of Louis' job. Harry just sighed in reply, rubbing his eyes before he replied.

"We're alright. Beth just got to her next reading level today, actually," he replied, trying to steer the conversation in a direction he was more comfortable with.

"Oh, really, that's wonderful! She's growing up so fast, isn't she?" the conversation remained about the kids for a while, until Harry remembered what it was again that he was calling his mother for.

"Oh, mum, what I actually wanted to ask..."

"You're not getting my recipe for my special chocolate cake until I'm on my death bed, Harold." she joked, making him roll his eyes and chuckle at the same time.

"Yeah mum, I already know that. I was just wondering if you could watch Amy this Wednesday morning? It'd be just her, cause I've arranged a play date for Jack and Beth would be at school."

"Oh, yes, I don't think that's a problem. You've got somewhere to be?"

He scratched the hair on the back of his head as he tried to find the right words. "Uhm, yeah, I've got uhm, a job interview at 10.30."

"Oh. Oh?"

"Uhm, yeah, just, you know, checking out what the options are if I do decide to get back to work."

"Oh, okay."

"Okay. So could you be here at maybe 9.30 so I can drop Jack off before I have to be there?"

"Yes, no problem dear. But Harry?"

"Hmmm?"

"Does Louis know about this?"

"No, not yet, I mean, I'm not taking any job offers, just like I said, checking out my options."

"Alright. Just... Don't decide too quickly on matters like these, okay Harry?"

"I won't, mum, I won't."

"Good. I'll see you Wednesday then!"

He noticed that he kept getting distracted while he fed Amy her bottle and went to put her down in her crib, his thoughts constantly fleeting towards Louis and how sad his voice had sounded when he'd called and reached the answering machine again. There was some kind of reality show on TV but he wouldn't have been able to tell anyone what it was about if they asked, his mind on his husband the entire time. Was he making a mistake by going to this job interview? It wasn't like he had been looking for opportunities, they had just offered him a talk because they knew him from years before and they needed someone familiar with environmental law. It was nothing serious, so there was no need to inform Louis of it, right?

Harry switched off the TV with a sigh and picked up his phone as he walked into the bedroom. Amy was a deep sleeper so she wouldn't wake up from a phone call.

"Haz..." It was barely more than a breath when Louis picked up the phone, but still it felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from Harry's chest.

\---

Louis hated talking to the answering machine, but he just had to tell Harry how much he missed them all. Let him know he hadn't forgotten, that he was trying. He heard his team mates joke around in the rooms next to his and in the hallways as they got ready for their night out. They'd complained about Louis Tomlinson having turned into a boring old dad because he had refused to come with them every single time they went out, but he couldn't care less. He had no interest in getting drunk or flirting with guys or girls he'd never seen before and probably would never see again. So he stayed in, watching an old episode of friends that was dubbed in Spanish. He didn't understand half of it, but it didn't matter because he'd seen all of them at least three times and he wasn't really paying much attention anyway. His thoughts were back home, in England, with Harry and the kids.

He was startled when his phone rang. Of course he'd asked Harry to call back, but he'd asked that every single night of the last week and Harry never had actually called him back. He took a deep breath before he pressed the call button and answered his phone.

"Louis..."

"You called."

"Yeah... I... I miss you, I guess."

"I miss you too. I can't stop thinking about the four of you whenever we're not out on the field Haz, I love you so much."

"Really?"

"Yes Harry, really," he stressed. A year ago, Louis would've been hurt at that question, but now he understood where it came from. He'd been letting his family down far too much since he became team captain.

"Beth reached her next reading level today." It was easy to keep their conversation about the kids, it was a safe zone where Harry could restrict himself to facts and casualties instead of having to talk about his feelings or whatever had happened between them lately. It carried on like that for a while, talking about Beth, Jack and Amy, even about football practice or what Harry'd made for dinner the last few days.

"I miss us, Harry. I mean, the way we used to be?" There it was, the giant elephant in the room.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

"I mean, not just the way it was before we had kids, even though I'll always remember those days when I'd come home and you'd be making us dinner in nothing but the apron your mother bought you for Christmas." They both chuckled at the memory, feeling warm and fuzzy as the feelings of old times flooded back into their bodies. "But you know, the way it was before all this got too much for me to handle. Before I got so busy."

"Hmmmm."

"I miss being home with you too, Harry, really, and I hope you know that I really try to be there more often, but it's just... I hate that part of my job."

"I know, Lou, I know."

"I wish it was different."

"Me too."


	6. Six

Harry felt terribly uncomfortable in his suit. It was a little bit too small after not wearing it for so long, and his tie seemed to be on a mission to suffocate him. Luckily, the interview was almost done. He’d been inside for about an hour now, and even though it had sparked his interest in law again, he couldn’t see himself working in an office every day anymore. He’d gotten too used to being free to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted to do it, as long as it kept their household running.

“Alright, mister Styles, I think we can leave it at this. We’ll get back to you within two weeks, but I think it’s safe to say the job is yours if you’d want it.” The friendly looking man on the opposite side of the desk smiled at him as he shook his hand before Harry walked out of the office.

It all seemed like a big mistake, it wasn’t like he was planning to go back to work, but even being here to see if he could get a job if he wanted it felt wrong. Perhaps he should’ve told Louis about it, he thought, but then again, they were slowly getting on better terms and he really didn’t want to ruin that now. He didn’t want to fight over something that wouldn’t matter in the end anyway.

 

\---

 

“Well pumpkin, I promise, if I run into Ronaldo sometime this week I will get a picture and an autograph for you, alright? But if not, you’ll have to do with a football shirt with his name and number, I’m afraid.”

Beth giggled on the other end of the line, making Louis grin as he heard it. He was longing for the week to end so he could finally get back to England, back home. He’d have a week off after this and he was planning on making the most out of it.

“Okay dad. But we can still go out and play football in the stadium when you’re back, right?” She asked, sounding a bit scared that he might have forgotten about that promise, like had happened so many times before.

“Of course Beth, I won’t let anything stop us from that.”

“Okay. Dad says I really have to get to bed now, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow!”

“Sweet dreams love!”

“You too dad!”

“Lou?”

“Hey Haz,” he still couldn’t wipe that ridiculously large grin of his face. It was his last week in Spain, only three more days to go in fact, and since he hadn’t stopped calling every day, Harry had let him talk to the kids for five days in a row now. It was silly how happy he was with it, but he couldn’t help it, he just loved the three little munchkins to death.

“I’ll call you back in an hour or so, alright? Got to put our little monster to bed and there’s still a big pile of laundry waiting as well.”

“I’m not going anywhere love, talk to you later.”

“Later boo.”

 

It somehow frightened Louis how much easier it seemed to reconcile with Harry while they were so far apart. How much easier it was to talk, about things that had happened that day, but also about their feelings and about earlier days, when everything had seemed so much easier, effortless even.

 

He had been packing when the hotel phone had started ringing, a friendly voice telling him in bad English with a Spanish accent that there was someone waiting to see him at the front desk. He had no idea who it could be, unaware of any appointments or meetings he’d agreed to, but he confirmed he’d come downstairs anyway.

Three hours had passed when he finally entered his room again, his head spinning. He wanted nothing more than throw himself on the bed and let it all sink in, but he knew he couldn’t, he had to pack and get ready for the bus ride back home. He had only one more hour before the bus left and his clothes and other belongings were still spread everywhere in the room.

The bus ride took over 15 hours though, and his head was too full to get any sleep. So he cuddled up in Harry’s jumper and took out the notes he’d made during the meeting. He’d asked three times if the figures they’d named were really correct, and seeing them written, he still couldn’t believe it. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that it was a good offer. A great one even. One he probably couldn’t or shouldn’t refuse. It would be absolutely perfect, he’d be home far more often, have more time to spend with the kids and Harry and still be able to play. He couldn’t wait to discuss it with Harry.

He must’ve fallen asleep at sometime during the night, because the next thing he knew they were driving down the street to Stoke City’s stadium, where Harry’d pick him up with the kids. It was almost noon on a Saturday, so they’d have the rest of the day to spend together with the family. Louis was crazy excited about it, having missed his kids and husband for three weeks, he really wanted to make up for the lost time.

 

As soon as he set foot on the ground, his legs were attacked by a surprisingly powerful 7-year old clinging to his sweat pants.  
He shot a wide grin to Harry who was standing a few feet away, next to their car with Jack hiding behind his legs and Amy on his arm, feeling insanely giddy when he received a grin back.  
Louis crouched down, slowly peeling Beth’s hands from his trousers and taking them in his own. She looked a bit shy, suddenly, the brown curls falling in her face as she attempted to hide from her smiling father.

“Hey pumpkin,” he softly greeted her. “I’m sorry, no picture or autograph from Ronaldo but I did get you the shirt I promised!” he told her as he pulled the fabric out of his backpack. “Kept it with me all the time or the others would’ve tried stealing it,” he winked and evoked a giggle from Beth, her eyes crinkling at the sides as she took hold of the shirt and pulled it over her head. It looked more like a dress on her, way too big, but she looked cute, especially when she looked up at Louis and shot him a thankful smile before she threw her arms around his neck and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

He got up again and took her hand to join Harry and the others. Jack had emerged from behind Harry’s legs and seemed to catch on that the man coming their way was in fact his other dad. It took Louis another few minutes of persuasion before he finally smiled and held his arms out to be picked up, happily sitting on Louis’ hip while he greeted Harry and Amy.

“My god, she’s grown so much!” Louis exclaimed, earning a chuckle from Harry as he looked down on their daughter. He knew it was probably true, but he usually didn’t notice as much since he was always around her. It was only when he looked at pictures from a few weeks before that he saw how much she’d changed in the short time. He held up Amy so Louis could kiss her properly and made a comment about her eyes, how the colour was slowly changing into the exact same one of Louis’.

And that was that, nothing more to say, no more people to greet. It surprised them both, the intensity of the moment when they finally gazed into each other’s eyes. Breaths hitching and feelings swarming around bodies as if they were 8 years younger. Then a kiss, hesitant at first, and never escalating too much because of the kids, but then more intense, with more love poured in.

“Hi.” Louis breathed finally when they pulled back, a small smile ghosting his lips, the smile he reserved for Harry and Harry only.

“Hey,” was Harry’s very eloquent reply, followed shortly by “I’ll never understand how you manage to look so stunning even after a 15 hour bus ride wearing sweats and a crinkled T-shirt.” It broke the tension somewhat as Louis chuckled.

“It’s the marvelous genes, my dear,” he replied with a wink, suddenly reminded of Jack’s presence as he fisted his hair. The moment was gone, but it held a promise for more, later that evening.

They put the three little monsters back in their car seats and drove home, where Louis got the shower he longed for after being kept inside a bus for so long and Harry started up the washing machine to get rid of the pile of laundry Louis always seemed to bring home from trips. It wasn’t that he didn’t know of the existence of laundry services at the hotel, but he just liked the scent of the detergent Harry used to much better. Or that was his excuse, anyway.

The proposal to celebrate Louis’ arrival with lunch at McDonalds was greeted with loud cheers, and ended in two kids being smeared with ice cream from top to bottom, but it was worth it.  
Even when they fought together, the one thing they would both die for was the smile on their kids’ faces. It was what kept them going and held the family together through everything.

 

\---

 

To be honest, Louis was exhausted and near to passing out once everyone was put to bed that evening. He had gotten used to the peace and quiet of his hotel room, and forgotten about how tiring kids could be. He smiled at Harry as he fell down on the couch next to him, wrapping his long limbs around Louis’ smaller body, his nose nuzzling into Louis’ neck.

“Missed you,” he mumbled, and there was no stopping the heat that suddenly pooled in Louis’ stomach. No way to keep him from lazily yet greedily kissing his husband.

Somewhere between round three and four, Louis remembered he’d wanted to discuss that opportunity with Harry but he quickly pushed it to the back of his mind, too distracted by those skilled hands and mouth to bother any longer.


	7. Seven

They were not fighting. Louis reminded himself of that several times every day after their talk. They weren’t really talking either, but at least they were not fighting, right? He sighed as he shut the door after strapping Beth into her car seat and leaned against his own door for a second. How did this all happen? He had been so happy about it, and he’d been sure Harry would be too, but apparently, he’d been wrong. Again. He rubbed his eyes and took his seat behind the wheel, knowing he didn’t have much time left before dinner would be ready and Beth surely needed some food after their afternoon out on the football field. At least he’d been able to be there for the kids this week, and he was pretty certain they hadn’t noticed much of the trouble their dads were having.

\---

_Two days earlier_

Louis lazily smiled up at Harry, his head in his lap as his long fingers carded through his fringe. It had been a good day. They’d kept Beth home from school, both feeling a little crazy but most of all happy, and driven to the sea side. It was a bit more chilly there than it’d been at home, but the sun was out and they’d had a great time playing in the sand and sharing ice creams (and getting ice cream smeared all over their faces and clothes by the kids). It almost felt like Louis’d never left and they were both sorry they had to leave before dinner in order to get the kids to bed in time for school and daycare tomorrow. Beth and Jack were both sound asleep after their much needed bath, sand had been everywhere and Jack’s freckles hadn’t even been visible underneath the dirt, as well as Amy, the baby monitor laid in the grass beside them. It was still warm outside, the setting sun giving a nice orange glow to the blue sky and their faces. Harry was leaning against the apple tree in the back of the garden, Louis lying down on the blanket with his head in Harry’s lap. They hadn’t been talking much, just enjoying each other’s company and the time they finally had for and with each other.

“I can’t wait for the summer Lou, when I’ll have you home more often and we can have more moments like this.” Harry mumbled, his eyes closing on their own accord because he just was very comfortable.

“Myeah, me neither… but now that you bring it up… I wanted to talk to you about a job offer I got.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, last week, right before we had to leave, they called a meeting, and I really didn’t want to go because I expected it to be boring and stupid, but it turned out to be rather interesting…”

Louis pushed himself up from the ground and sat up straight across Harry, his legs crossed in front of him and his fingers fumbling with a dandelion he had pulled out. He started telling Harry about the meeting, how he hadn’t believed the numbers they’d named and the little work he’d have to do to earn that much money. He got so passionate about the story he was telling that he didn’t even notice how Harry’s faint smile disappeared and got replaced by something between a frown and a look of surprise.

“So, they’re offering us a house about twice the size of this one, rent paid by the club. And I’d be of course training and stuff but I’d be far from their star player so I’d get loads of time off as well, way more than I get now. And because I’d still be playing the national team, we’d be coming back to England at regular intervals as well. And of course we could invite family to come over, I’d be making plenty to pay for their trips too.” Finally he stopped rambling and just grinned at his husband, excitement radiating from his every pore.

“Louis, it’s Barcelona…” Harry started hesitantly, once he’d noticed Louis was done talking.

“I know! Isn’t that even better? I mean, it’s a beautiful city, and there’s the beach so close by, our kids all love the beach, and the weather’d be so much better than it is here, and the food is so good…” Louis licked his lips at the idea of all the delicious food he’d get to eat every day once they’d moved. Of course he’d miss their families, but they could fly out whenever they wanted or the other way around. It was all absolutely perfect.

“But, Lou, Barcelona is in Spain. We live in England. Our family lives in England. Beth goes to school in England, and in English.”

“I’m sure there’s an international school we can send the kids to.” He quipped, still happy and not having picked up on Harry’s doubts.

“Louis… no…” he sighed, running his hands through his hair to leave it in an even bigger mess than it already had been. “No… I’m not taking her out of school, where she’s used to the teachers and the other kids. Not to move to Barcelona for a couple of years, and then she’ll have to move back again and once more abandon her friends. No, just no. I’m not doing that to her.”

“But Haz… think of all the opportunities the kids would get, I mean, they’d surely learn some Spanish, and I’m sure they’ll love living so close to the beach.”

“And away from their aunts and grandparents. Louis, how could you even think this was a brilliant idea?” Harry interrupted, the palm of his hands pressing against his eyes in exasperation.

“Because it is! They’re kids, Harry, they’ll make new friends, they’ll learn from the experience! I get to see them so much more often! And I’d get to see you more as well. Hell, I’m even sure if I asked them for a house keeper, they’d say yes. You wouldn’t have to cook or clean anymore, doesn’t that sound marvelous?” By now, he’d noticed that Harry wasn’t very enthusiastic to say the least, but he was still sure he’d be able to convince him that this was the opportunity of a lifetime.

“In fact, no, it doesn’t. How about my friends? I have a life here too Louis. And maybe you think of me as your housekeeper and nanny that comes with benefits, but honestly, I do more than that. I have friends here, and family, and no matter how much I love you and how much I’d like to spend more time with you and with our entire family, I’m not moving to Spain to do so. Just, no.” He had gotten up and brushed off the dirt from his pants, shaking his hair out one last time before picking up the baby monitor and moving back inside. The sun had completely disappeared and the sky was almost dark, just enough light there to make sure they could see each other’s faces.

Louis didn’t understand why Harry was so opposed to moving to Spain, he really didn’t. But he did feel the tears prickling behind his eyes as he watched Harry storm back inside, closing the sliding doors behind him. He’d really thought it’d be good for all of them, moving to Spain, start over in a new environment and be able to spend more time together. Was it really such a stupid idea?

\---

_Present day_

Beth was sound asleep by the time Louis parked the car on the drive way, so he cautiously undid her seatbelt and picked her up instead of waking her to get inside. He found the house bustling once he entered, Jack was reenacting some terrible Armageddon-scene with his plastic dinosaurs, making lots of noises as he did so, and loud as well, because apparently he’d been watching TV earlier, the speakers still loudly blasting some children’s show. It gave Louis an instant headache, so as soon as he’d put Beth down on the couch, he turned off the TV and asked Jack to keep it down a little before pressing a gentle kiss on his head. He received a simple “okay daddy” in reply before he moved on to the kitchen where Harry was cooking dinner.

Amy was babbling to herself in her bouncer on the kitchen table, looking happy as ever. Louis walked up behind his husband and pressed a kiss to his cheek before taking a look over his shoulder to see what he was cooking.

“Hey, how’d it go?” Harry asked, not bothering to look up and simply continuing stirring the vegetables around in the wok pan.

“Good. She loved playing on the big field. She’s dead tired though, put her on the couch 'cause she fell asleep on the way back.”

“Oh, okay. Dinner’ll be ready in a bit though, could you set the table?”

That was all they talked about together since Louis had brought up the offer in Barcelona, the kids and practical every day things. Louis had brought it up again yesterday, the entire Spain thing, but Harry’d just given him a stern look, one eyebrow raised as if to tell him that he already had said everything there was to say about it and his answer was still no.

Luckily they had the kids to make conversation over dinner and none of them needed to do more than encourage them in their stories or even smile and nod a little. Otherwise it would’ve been terribly quiet around the table. Louis volunteered to take care of the dishes and kitchen clean-up, so Harry took the two eldest upstairs for their bath and bedtime stories afterwards. He was just about to start scrubbing the frying pan, contemplating how he maybe could convince Harry that moving to Spain was a good idea after all, when the house phone started ringing in the next room. He thought about leaving it, but it kept on ringing, so finally he dried his hands and hurried to the living room to pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Styles?” It was a friendly male voice Louis didn’t recognize on the other side.

“No, this is Louis Tomlinson, Harry’s upstairs at the moment, could he maybe call you back?” Louis was already looking around for a paper and a pen to jot down the number so Harry could return the call.

“Oh, mr. Tomlinson, no, that won’t be necessary. If you could just tell him that, as expected, we have deliberated about his interview the other day, and we’d be happy to hire him if he’d want the job. … Hello?”

“Oh. Uhm, yes, of course, yeah, I’ll tell him.”

He was still standing in the middle of the living room with the phone in his hand, a long beep sounding through the speaker when Harry came downstairs.

“Louis? Is everything alright? The kids are waiting for a goodnight kiss.” He asked, sounding genuinely concerned, and really, if that phone call hadn’t been there, Louis had been happy about that little display of affection.

Louis was shaken out of his daze and nodded, thrusting the phone into Harry’s hand before he went upstairs. “I’ll go up now. Oh, and uhm, you’ve got the job, apparently. Nice of you to tell me about it.”

“Louis!” Harry tried, feeling dread course through his veins at a high speed, but Louis was already halfway up the stairs, and he didn’t hear it, or so he pretended. “Fuck…” He let himself fall down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.”


	8. Eight

Harry only looked up again when he heard his husband's footfalls on the stairs. Amy was babbling in her playpen, indicating that she would need to be fed soon, but he hadn't found the energy to get up yet. His eyes were rimmed red but Louis clenched his jaw when he looked at him. This was all too much. Without saying anything, he made a beeline for the coat hanger and grabbed that old jeans jacket he still wore even though it was worn out to the thread. Harry _always_ smiled when Louis wore that jacket because he was so damn pretty in it, but not now.

He did finally find the energy and the courage to get up though, and took a few long strided steps to get closer to Louis, stopping himself at the bottom of the stairs. His knuckles were white from gripping the banister, his voice hoarse and breaking at every other word.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” Louis' voice sounded strained. Cold and distant even. His eyes reflected the same things. It hurt Harry more than any of the harsh words that had ever been yelled through their sometimes endless arguments. It hit a spot deep inside his guts, stinging like a knife twisting around to make the wound even bigger. He felt drained, and honestly, too tired to fight Louis over running.

“When will you be back?”

“Not sure yet. You'll see me around when I am.”

Harry merely nodded, the hand that wasn't wrapped around the banister shaking as he saw Louis turn around and walk through the door. He felt terrible, even worse because he knew at least part of this fight was his fault. He should've told Louis about the job interview, that it didn't mean anything. That he never meant to take the job to start with. He should've told the firm not to call him back because no, he didn't want that job. No matter how hard it was and no matter how lonely he sometimes got and no matter how careless Louis was sometimes. His place was here, with their children, their family, not in some stupid law firm where he had to wear a suit and tie and miss out on so much.

Their family. Was it still their family? Or was something broken beyond repair now? This would've been bad at any given time, but now, with their argument over Spain still fresh and hanging in the air between them, it was even worse.

He was shaken out of his haze by Amy starting to really cry now, she was hungry, so he went to the kitchen to prepare her bottle. The evening went by in a blur, going through the motions automatically because he'd done everything so many times before, his hands could do it all by themselves.

He spent his time waiting to fall asleep listening for the front door to open and close, but it never happened, not even when faint rays of sun started seeping through the blinds in their bedroom. The kids woke him up early, and again it was an automatism getting them ready for school and daycare. He charmed the caretaker into taking Amy from his hands as well, for just this once, because fuck, he couldn't handle taking care of anyone but himself right now. She must've seen the redness around his eyes and the strain in his fake smile, because she didn't even argue much, just sighed as she took the little girl from his hands, followed by the diaper bag that was somehow bigger than the baby it accommodated.

He didn't even know where he was going, he just got into his car and started driving, silent tears rolling down his cheeks as the city passed by outside the windows. It took him an hour to get there, and then another ten minutes to realise why he was there, on that parking lot. When it finally dawned upon him, he groaned, but he got out of the car anyway and walked down the path he'd walked so many times before. He'd hardly ever been there alone though, and it felt weird to be now.

 

\----

 

“Louis?” His mother had gotten up from her curled up position on the couch when she'd heard the front door open and close. She hadn't been expecting anyone this evening, so she was surprised when her quiet alone time with a cheesy movie was disrupted by a key being shoved in the lock.

“Hey mum.” he moved to put his coat on the hanger before leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. She frowned and grabbed his chin, pulling him back to get a good look at his face, her frown even deepening.

“What's going on?”

“Nothing, mum, I just... felt like coming over for a visit.”

“Louis Tomlinson. Don't you lie to me. You're not just coming over for a visit at eleven at night. Get your ass into my kitchen and sit down so you can tell me everything over a nice cup of tea.” Her voice was stern, and Louis was very well aware that there was no use in trying to deny there was something wrong or trying to get out of her spill-it-over-tea session. She was absolutely brilliant at making him spill everything, by the way. His shoulders sagged and he toed off his shoes before crossing the hardwood floor of the living room to get to the kitchen. The tiles were cold on his bare feet, but it somehow felt good, it made him feel grounded, if that even made sense. It brought a clarity to his thoughts that he had been missing ever since that phone call.

His first cup of tea was almost finished when his mum finally spoke up, and it seemed like a miracle that she had managed to keep it inside for such a long time.

“Are you and Harry having an argument again?”

“No. Yeah. Maybe.” he sighed and rested his head on his folded arms on the table in front of him. “Fuck mum, I don't even know anymore.”

It was the start of a long talk. He explained how he'd thought Spain was the perfect opportunity for them to start over, to make it all better. How Harry had thought it was a stupid plan to begin with and that he refused to even reconsider it. How they hadn't been talking for two days now. And then he explained why he had run off.

“It's just... fuck mum, I really don't care if he wants to get a job again, because, I get it, you know? I understand that it's hard on him to be the one to take care of the kids and be at home all day and not have a job while I'm gone a lot and all that.”

“Well, he's bound to get frustrated with how little time you spend at home Lou. And when you are there, I can imagine you're not the most subtle bee in the hive either when something's bothering you.”

“Yeah, I know. But we were doing alright, you know, we were getting there, when I got back from Spain. It was nice, actually, to not fight for a couple of days and just enjoy spending time together. And then I told him about the Barcelona-offer and it blew up in my face. But anyway, I wouldn't mind if he wanted a job, really, I wouldn't. We'd find a way to juggle two jobs and three kids and I know we'd manage. But now, I- I just feel betrayed. Why didn't he tell me about that job interview?”

“Maybe because he thought you'd get mad about it?” his mum offered, and he considered it for a short while before he shrugged.

“But if he wants a job, I was bound to find out about that sooner or later, no?” He replied, getting up to get them a refill. “Right now, I just feel like he doesn't want to go to Spain because he wants a job here. And I probably would've understood if he'd just told me. I don't like being lied to.”

“Maybe he didn't lie to you Lou. Maybe that job has nothing to do with why he thinks Spain isn't the best idea. I can see where he's coming from though. Louis, I know you want what you think is best for your family, but Harry's right about Beth.”

He sighed, knowing their conversation wouldn't be over for a couple more hours. He was glad he came home though, his mum had always been the voice of reason when he got lost in the scary woods of his rambling thoughts. It was early morning when he finally followed his mum upstairs, hugging her tightly before he went into his old bedroom that still held his old bed, and with a lot of imagination, he could still smell the Harry he'd brought in here all these years ago.

 

\---

 

_Where are you?_

Harry was surprised by he beeping of his phone, indicating a text message. He hadn't expected any messages, and especially not this one. He thought about not answering, but he knew that this was his husband holding out a hand for him to take, so before he even properly thought about it, his fingers were typing a reply.

_Our spot._

There never came a reply to it, so he wasn't sure what to expect. Would Louis come find him? Would he even know what spot he meant?

He got his answer when he heard rustling of the bushes behind him, about an hour after that last text. Harry kept his gaze on the small river in front of him when Louis sat down on the grass next to him. He'd taken off his shoes and his feet were getting numb because of the cold water, but he hardly felt it. He'd been too busy remembering all good things that had happened here. Their first date, their first kiss, a lot more dates and even more kisses, and once they'd even made love here, on a blanket spread out underneath the stars. This was where Louis had proposed to him, and it had been the first place they'd taken Beth to when she'd come to live with them. It really was their spot. Louis had apparently followed his example because about a minute after he'd joined Harry, his feet were dangling in the water as well. The silence hung heavy between them, and the water had never seemed quite so deep.

“I never planned to take the job.” Harry finally muttered, and he wasn't sure if Louis had heard him because he didn't answer. He couldn't handle the silence, so after another minute he spoke up again, this time a little louder. “They called me to come in for an interview, and I figured it would be nice to see if I still had options. You know, for maybe when Jack and Amy both go to school as well. It was a stupid idea to even go there. As soon as I'd put on my suit, I felt terribly uncomfortable, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get used to working for a boss again. It was just stupid.”

“You could've just told me about it, you know?” Louis finally said.

“It didn't seem necessary, I just wanted to test the waters, and when I'd decided I was never going to take the job it seemed even more useless. I didn't want us to fight over something that didn't even matter in the end.” Louis huffed out a humourless chuckle.

“Yeah, that didn't really turn out as planned then.” He sounded slightly bitter, and Harry realised how much he hated how they were sometimes so far apart.

“No, not at all. I'm sorry Lou, I should've told you about it, it was stupid not to.”

“Yeah, it was. And I'm sorry for running off yesterday. It just... it felt as if you were refusing to come to Spain because of that job. I felt betrayed and lied to.”

“It never was about that. I- I just really think it would be a bad idea to move the kids there and then back when your contract ends in a couple of years. They don't know the language, they've got their friends and schools here, it's just... I want them to have a stable life Lou, as much as possible with your job and both the up- and downsides of it. Moving around Europe before they're even in high school isn't going to do that.”

Louis sighed, and Harry was taken aback by the emotion blazing from his clear blue eyes when he finally looked up. He was biting his bottom lip again, and god, shouldn't it be illegal to be so damn beautiful? Even with the red rims around his eyes, he was gorgeous, the dark stubble only accentuating his slightly pale face that made his blue eyes stand out even more.

“I really, really thought it was a good idea, you know? Starting over? Having more free time to spend with you?”

“I know now that you felt that way about it, yes. What are you going to do about the offer?”

Louis shrugged. “I don't think I could move to Spain without you four. I mean, I'd get to see you even less because I'd have to be there for the duration of the season. You could come to visit in school vacations and I'd come back if I had a break, but still, it wouldn't be enough. We'd grow even further apart and I really don't want that.” His lip quivered a little when he finished and Harry had to keep himself from kissing him senseless, to make the sadness go away. “I miss us, Harry, I miss you.”

“Yeah, me too. We used to be so good together. It used to be so easy for us. I'm not sure what happened.” His voice was low and just so sad.

“Life. Kids. My job.” Louis answered bitterly.

“I suppose.”

“Do you think we can go back to what we had before?” He swallowed hard and Harry's hand moved up to cup his jaw, the stubble rough against his palm.

“I hope so, I really do, Lou. I don't want to lose you. Because fuck, what we had was perfect, and I'd like to believe we can be perfect again.”

Louis smiled and leaned in to Harry's touch before he nodded. His hand folded over Harry's, their fingers entwining and in that moment, every single one of their worries and problems disappeared. Only them and this moment and place existed and were important.

The grass prickled at Louis' back when they made love, but it didn't matter, because it was fucking perfect anyway, the sun peering through the leaves above them, the clatter of the river beside them and _Harry Harry Harry_ just everywhere.


	9. Nine

The grass was still prickling on every inch of his exposed skin when they just lay there together, Harry’s limbs entangled with his, his head resting on Louis’ chest as his hands carded through the mess of curls. It was a good thing that their spot was rather secluded and hardly anyone ever came there, because the tabloids would have loved pictures of the two naked lovers by the river, without a doubt. There was no need to talk, there had been more than enough I love you’s during their seemingly endless love making and all other things could wait. It was just them, the sound of nature surrounding them and their breathing and hearts beating. Until Harry’s cellphone started blasting out an annoying beeping sound, that is.

“Fuck, is it that late already?” he scrambled to his feet and started looking for the pieces of clothing that belonged to him, pulling up his boxers backwards in his haste.

“What time is it?” Louis questioned, not as alarmed as his husband because he didn’t exactly grasp what was happening.

“Half past two. Beth’s school goes out in half an hour and it’s at least a 45 minute drive and then I have to pick up Jack and Amy from daycare and I should also stop at the supermarket to get food for tonight’s dinner because there’s nothing left in the cupboards and fuck, shopping with the three of them is really close to my idea of hell actually…” Harry rambled on, hopping on one leg as he pulled on his jeans, and god, didn’t Louis realise how it was really time to get moving already?

“Harry, relax. Falling over in the river won’t help you get there in time.” Louis sat up and gathered his clothes as well, pulling on his own jeans while Harry was already tying his laces. “How about you go shopping and I pick up the kids? Or the other way around, whatever you prefer, but I don’t really know my way around the supermarket so it might take me a while to get the shopping done.”

“Would you?” Harry paused, looking up at his husband with hope shining in his eyes.

“What, pick up our children? Yes, of course.” Louis replied, smirking and rolling his eyes. He pulled on his T-shirt and stepped into his shoes before following Harry to the parking lot in a quick pace. Harry was about to get into his car and leave, but Louis cornered him against his door and demanded a kiss before he let him go. “See you at home, pretty boy.” He winked and unlocked his own car to drive off.

\---

“Hey Beth, sorry I’m late!” he smiled, panting just a little from running all the way from his car to his daughter’s classroom. “Hi miss Jenson, sorry to you too.” He hoped his charm would still work on the teacher who was left only with his daughter. From the way she smiled up at him from behind her desk, he’d say it did.

“No problem, mister Tomlinson, it happens to everyone once in a while. Beth has already started on her homework, I believe.” She was young, probably in her first few years of teaching, and pretty, a brilliant smile accompanied by friendly eyes hidden behind her red rimmed glasses, blond hair falling down to her shoulders. Louis wouldn’t have minded making some more small talk with her, he still had his ways with the ladies, if he could say so himself, but Beth demanded his attention by pulling on his sleeve.

“Look dad, I’ve already finished my math’s homework so now I only have some reading to do over the weekend.”

“That’s great pumpkin, maybe you can read Jack’s bedtime story tonight.” He winked and laughed as she shook her head furiously.

“No! Jack always wants to read about dinosaurs and dinosaurs are boring. I’ll read my own books, thank you very much.” Beth replied sassily, making both Louis and her teacher bite their lips not to burst out laughing.

“Mind your language young lady. Anyway, let’s get your bag and get out of here, we still need to pick up Jack and Amy from daycare before we can go home.”

Her brown curls bounced around her head as she skipped back to her table and put her stuff inside her bag before swinging it on her back. “I’m ready! Bye miss Jenson!”

“Bye Beth, have a nice weekend!”

“You too,” Louis replied instead of his daughter who was already halfway down the hall.

“Where’s dad?” Beth asked as soon as she was strapped in her car seat, her bag tossed in the back with Louis’ training gear.

“I’m right here, mind you.” Louis teased, chuckling as his daughter rolled her eyes at him. He knew he wasn’t supposed to find her attitude all that funny, because she was way too young for that sort of behaviour, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Other dad,” she replied.

“He’s gone shopping so we won’t have to eat the carpet for dinner.” Their banter continued until he parked right in front of the daycare centre, and Louis smiled as he got out of the car. This was what made him miss spending time with his kids, and he was more than determined to do something about it next season.

\---

“This pretty girl had her first solid food today!” Louis declared as he walked into the kitchen with Amy in his arms. Harry looked at them from his spot behind the stove where he was already cooking up dinner for the five of them.

“What? I’ve been trying to give her veggies for three weeks and she keeps on spitting it in my face! One day at daycare and she eats it? Not fair!” He huffed, making Louis chuckle before he leaned in for a kiss.

“I’m sure it was only because you’ve prepared her well by now Haz.” He winked before looking into the pots and pans. “Smells good, what is it?”

“Scampi stir-fry.” He answered, “With pre-cut frozen vegetables, the perfect invention for lazy wives like me.” He batted his eyelashes as he pulled a pouty face and tried to look fifties-sexy.

It felt good to be able to behave silly around each other again, and the rest of the evening and the weekend as well was spent in a comfortable atmosphere. By Sunday evening, they were tired but happy as they fell down on their bed together, limbs entwining before they fell asleep.

\---

Alas, all good things come to an end and it was no different for Louis’ week off. He was up before any of the others again, and he could faintly hear the first signs of Amy waking up when he grabbed his coat from the hanger. He had practice for Stoke city in the morning and after that he’d asked for a meeting with the club’s direction. He wasn’t planning on taking the offer for Barcelona but they didn’t know that, so he wanted to make the most out of the negotiation.

The kids were already in bed when he came home that night, but he’d called them around the time he’d guessed they’d come home from picking Beth up from school. Harry was alright with him coming home later, as long as he called to let him know. Louis threw his coat on the hanger from the door, hissing through his teeth as he saw the coat hanger wobble a bit from the impact, but today obviously was his lucky day and the hanger didn’t fall over. Harry was found on the couch, leafing through a magazine while Amy was fast asleep on a pillow next to him. Louis pressed a lingering kiss to Harry’s lips before he picked Amy up and took her upstairs to her bed, coming back down to plop on the couch next to his husband, legs on the armrest and his head on Harry’s lap.

“Guess what? It’s good news.” he asked Harry, who put away his magazine and looked down expectantly.

“What?” he cleared his throat to get rid of the hoarseness his voice tended to have when unused for over an hour.

“I said guess, Harry.”

“You’re getting a sex change and we’re moving to the US so you can play in the women’s premier league there?”

“I’m worried if you actually think me getting a sex change is good news, but no.”

“We’re getting a pet-giraffe? I’m sure Beth would love that.”

“Harry! Ugh, you’re impossible!”

“You know how much I hate guessing games, so I don’t get why you even bother Lou.”

“Because it’s no fun just telling you the good news, you spoilsport! You’re lucky I’m so happy about it that I can’t wait to tell you anyway or I’d let you guess all night!” He exclaimed, swatting at Harry’s upper arm.

“You know you love me!” Harry grinned and well, there wasn’t really anything Louis could say to that.

“I’m staying here, in Stoke next season, and they’re paying me almost as much as they would in Barcelona. I’m no longer team captain so I’ll have less responsabilities and therefore more time to spend at home, with you and the kids.”

“What? Lou, you better not be kidding because I will kill you with my own two hands if you are!” Harry threatened, wide eyed and hardly able to contain his excitement.

“I’m not kidding. It’ll be just practice, matches and team meetings. And stuff for the national team. Oh, yeah, and some photo shoots every now and then because we’re getting a new sponsor and they want me to be the model for their next few campaigns.”

“Oh my god, Lou, you did this for me?” His eyes were tearing up now because really, he couldn’t fully believe it yet but it was better news than ever.

“Yes, well, not entirely. I did it for the kids and us and just because I want us to be happy again, you know?”

“Thank you…” Harry whispered before pulling Louis up so he was sitting up on the couch next to him, in a more comfortable position to kiss him absolutely senseless.

“You’re welcome baby.” There was more he wanted to tell Harry, but it could wait until his head stopped spinning because of the kiss.


	10. Ten

Louis blinked at the giant billboard that hung over the airport entrance as he got out of the taxi. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to seeing a gigantic version of himself all over the country on his sponsor’s adverts, it was just plain weird. As was that silly crinkle by his left eye, he wondered why they hadn’t photoshopped it, actually…

Harry had gotten out on the other side of the car and busied himself with hoisting their luggage from the trunk. Louis was shaken out of his reverie when Harry dumped a large suitcase on his foot, causing him to jump and curse loudly before picking it back up to get inside. They were early, but raising three kids had taught them long time ago that no such thing as getting up and leaving too early existed.

The last two-and-a-half months of Louis being Stoke’s team captain had gone by relatively fast. There was a lot to do, a lot of things to finish before he could leave it to the next one, not to forget the international matches England had had to play to qualify for the world championship the next year. Harry had been home alone a lot, but he seemed not to mind as much as before, because there was the promise that Louis would be home more often when the season had ended, and he remembered to call every day.

Harry couldn’t deny that he had been thinking about a divorce in the months before their last big fight. It was getting harder to bear, and he wasn’t sure if staying with the one you loved was still a good thing if it demanded so many sacrifices. He was very happy things had changed though, because his love for his Louis was the only thing he would always be sure of. Even if he sometimes questioned his ideas, like today.

“Boo, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, they can be a handful, and it’s the first time they’re being babysat for such a long time…” he asked Louis, questioning the saneness of their plans for the umpteenth time that day. Louis suppressed his smile and dropped the suitcase before grabbing Harry’s hand so they were facing each other. He thought it was crazy how both their breaths still hitched when he grabbed Harry’s face and pulled it closer to his. “This is a good idea Harry, we need a holiday, for just the two of us. And it’ll only be a 10 days, after that, school’s out and Lottie will bring them over to Spain so we can have two more weeks with our entire family.” He pressed his lips against Harry’s and smiled at the sigh his husband let escape between their lips. “They’ll be fine, babe, stop worrying.”

“I can’t. It’s just who I am. Oh, and… have we told your mum that Jack doesn’t eat beans if they’re not mashed with his potatoes? He’ll make a scene if she gives him his beans just like that.” He rambled, eyes wide in panic because he was remembering more and more stuff he’d forgotten to tell his mother in law about the care for their kids.

“Harry, stop it. We have told her everything she needs to know, and there’s also cell phones. We’re going to Spain, not the other end of the world. They will be fine. Spoiled rotten, but fine.” Louis assured him firmly, hands on Harry’s shoulders as if to keep him grounded.

Harry sighed and squeezed his eyes shut as he nodded. “Yes, okay, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

Louis smiled and pressed another sweet kiss to his husband’s lips. “It’s fine honey, I know you’re nervous about this, and I know it’s the first time you’re leaving the kids for more than a couple of hours. It’s bound to be a bit scary.”

“I feel so stupid though, I always mocked my mum when she acted like this about me and Gemma.” Harry whined, picking his bags back up after squeezing Louis’ hand and letting go.

“It just means you’re a good mum, Harold darling,” Louis winked, bursting out in chuckles as Harry glared at him. “Are you glaring at me for calling you a mum or for calling you Harold?” he added, making the situation even worse and having to duck out of Harry’s reach to evade a slap against his head. “Love you!”

By then, they’d made it to the end of the check-in queue that seemed to move fairly quickly, despite the fact that it was now June and a lot of people were leaving for their summer holidays already. Of course Louis being able to pay for business class tickets would have something to do with that too. Having dropped off their luggage, they were able to move faster through the airport, once or twice stopped by some of Louis’ fans who asked for a picture and an autograph. Louis didn’t like this part of fame very much. To be honest, he didn’t like any part of it. He’d been perfectly happy being an anonymous football player who could make a living of it without any of the fame accompanying it. It had caused him too much worries, and he didn’t like how the fans expected him to make time for them when he was with his family. Harry was always the one to encourage him to interact with them though, not minding sharing his husband for a couple of minutes. He also was the one proudly smiling at his lover when it happened or when he was asked to take the picture. It wasn’t any different this time, and once they reached the business class lounge, Harry was still grinning widely while Louis’ face held a small frown. They were greeted by stewardesses who offered them coffee and some pastries, which made Louis cheer up a little again, also remembering they were on holiday together and the chances of having to deal with more fans in Spain were rather small, especially since they were staying in some secluded resort.

***

“Harry! Have you seen my swimming trunks?” Louis shouted through their holiday home, a massive villa in a secluded resort close to Malaga. They had made the most of their days alone together before their kids would arrive and both men had a nice tan from being in the sun. Harry walked from their bedroom to the large open kitchen where he supposed Louis would be found, leaning against the doorpost as he eyed his husband.

“Last time I saw them I threw them on the floor after getting them off of you as soon as possible, but after that, no.” he teased, making Louis blush a little, despite the fact they’d been together for almost 9 years.

“Crap, can’t seem to find them and they should be washed.” Louis sighed, slamming the washing machine’s door closed.

“They’ll show up.” Harry walked over to the counter and pushed himself up, his legs dangling and heels bumping against the cupboards. “I love how you’ve turned into the housewife out of us two since we’re here, by the way.” He winked and laughed as Louis stuck his tongue out, pulling him between his legs so he could kiss him properly. “I’m looking forward to tomorrow,” he murmured, his lips ghosting over Louis’ neck as he buried his face there.

“Hmmm, me too.” Louis smiled, wrapping his arms around his husband. “Although I’ll miss seeing you walk around naked whenever you can.”

“Who said I’m going to stop doing that?” Harry teased, a cheeky smile on his face, dimples on full display.

“I say you’re going to stop doing that. You’ll teach our offspring bad manners. And scar them for life.” Louis replied, smiling fondly at his husband before kissing his scoff away. “Shouldn’t we get to bed though? We have to get up early to pick them up at the airport tomorrow.” He unwrapped Harry’s arms from around his back and swayed his hips a little on the way to their bedroom, playing off his biggest asset.

“Already? It’s not even nine!” Harry complained, checking his watch.

“I said get to bed, Harry, not go to sleep.” Louis countered, turning around and slowly pulling up the hem of his T-shirt to reveal his tanned abdomen. He thought it was cute how Harry’s eyes widened, his face flushed and he pretty much ran towards the bedroom, pulling Louis inside with him.

***

“They’re here! I can see Beth’s curls!” Louis exclaimed as he jumped up and down, being the most overenthusiastic of the pair despite Harry’s earlier reluctance to leave on holiday without the kids. Harry chuckled but couldn’t stop himself from craning his neck to catch a glimpse of their family, checking if Louis was indeed right. It wasn’t long before he caught sight of Beth, bouncing her way through customs, followed by a stressed looking Lottie who was trying to steer the stroller that held Amy with one hand and hold Jack’s with the other. He had to bite his lip to keep himself from grinning at the sight, recognizing the stress she felt and sneakily glad he wasn’t the one feeling it for once.

It took the four of them ten more minutes to come through the glass sliding doors of the airport, and their little family reunion caused a lot of people around them to smile at the endearing scene. Beth had grabbed both her dads and pulled them into the firmest hug the 7-year old could manage, only letting go of them because Jack had wormed his way between them, wanting a piece of his parents as well. Amy was the last one getting a kiss and an awkward hug due to her position in the stroller before Louis pulled his younger sister in for a one armed hug and a kiss. “Thanks for bringing them Lots, you okay?”

“I am now,” she smiled, a tad tiredly. “And thank the Lord for portable DVD-players with Disney movies to keep them in check during the flight.”

“Ah, yes, the magic of Disney never fails.” Harry winked at her before kissing her on the cheek. “Where’s your luggage?”

“Dean is picking it up from the conveyer belt, I didn’t want to wait for it with those three.” She replied, smiling down at Beth who now had grabbed a hand from each of her dads. “They couldn’t wait to see you.”

“Oh, yeah, Dean. I’d forgotten he’d come with you.” Louis grumbled, causing both Harry and Lottie to roll their eyes at him. He couldn’t help not liking his sister’s boyfriend, even if they had been together for three years now. As long as he didn’t marry her, he wasn’t there to stay and therefore a potential harm for his baby sis who he had vowed to protect at all cost. It wasn’t any better with the boys or girls his other sisters brought home though, so Dean had by then learned not to take it personally.

***

“Daddy!” Jack exclaimed as he stepped out of the taxibus that had brought them back to the airport. Both Louis and Harry turned to see what their son wanted, but it turned out he was pointing at yet another billboard with Louis’ face on it. He’d hoped it would’ve been England only, but apparently he couldn’t escape them in Spain either. He chose not to care though, because he was on his way back from the best vacation he’d had in years, and everyone he cared for was happy. Beth’s tan went well with her brown bouncy curls, and Jack’s dark hair had lightened a bit due to the sun. Harry had a wide grin on his face as he watched Louis grab a hand of each of their older kids while he carried Amy, the taxi driver being nice enough to take their heaps of luggage inside for them. He loved how Louis had changed into more of a dad these last few months, more of a lover and a husband as well, instead of being a football player first. This holiday had been the perfect start of a slightly different life, where they’d have more time to spend together.

He lingered behind a little bit while Louis made his way to the check-in desks, chatting away with Beth and Jack. He looked back and forth between the real life version of his husband and the one on the posters, and even though he knew they were pretty much two different people, he loved them both equally. He might even have ripped off a poster from a wall to keep for himself, but he wouldn’t ever let Louis know that or he’d never let him live that one down. It felt as if the smile had been on his face for days on end, and it could very well have been true, because despite all struggles they’d had, all fights they’d fought, they’d managed to find their ways back to each other. They were just damn lucky, and happy for that.


	11. Epilogue

Looking back at the past 10 years of his life, Harry wasn't exactly sure how everything had turned out this way. The first few years had been hard on him, raising the kids by himself and Louis being away often for his carreer, but after that trip to Spain, things had gotten different, and better.

Two years after their holiday in Spain that had marked the beginning of a new era in their relationship and family life, Louis had had an accident on the field. Harry remembered being there, at the bleachers, trying to keep Jack and Beth from killing each other over a box of orange juice and Amy from smearing her chocolate spread sandwich everywhere including the hair of the woman in front of her. Suddenly, the entire stadium let out a gasp and then went silent for at least 30 seconds. It caused Harry to look up at the field, and his heart paused at the view of his husband lying dead still in front of the goal, a red line of blood trickling down his forehead while his left leg was bent in a strange angle. Time slowed down as he stood up, leaving the kids to do whatever they were doing and he was struggling not to stumble and fall as he made his way down the stairs of the VIP-box and onto the field. By the time he arrived, Louis was already surrounded by paramedics who were taking care of his wounds and trying to wake him. He got on his knees, close to Louis head and removed his sweaty fringe from his forehead with a gentle touch, trying not to get in the way of the paramedics while still giving his husband some form of comfort, even if he was unconscious.

The entire stadium started breathing and chatting again once Louis' voice was heard. He'd let out a loud curse that shouldn't be ever repeated for good measures, and Harry remembered chuckling at it as a first reaction. His Louis was back and would probably be alright. That evening, as he sat next to Louis' hospital bed, they both saw how it had happened. Louis had slipped on a wet patch of grass while running at his fastest to score, and he'd fallen down, slid further and his leg had hit the goalpost, resulting in a pretty nasty fracture. The cut in his head was caused by one of the other players who hadn't been able to avoid him and hit him with his shoe. Of course it hurt and Harry hated to see his husband in pain, but the most important thing was that he would be alright.

Months later, Louis was finally released from rehabilitation. He was able to walk and run, even cycle, but he would never be able to play football in a professional team again. When Louis had first heard the news from his physician, he'd been angry. He'd thrown everything he could find in his hospital room around, breaking bottles of water and tearing up his sheets. He'd even thrown an orange at Harry when he came to visit the next day. After three days of non-stop rage, he'd switched to sadness. Harry had come back every day to listen at the door if it would be safe to go in and his heart broke when he heard Louis' sobs coming from behind it that day. He'd ran inside and held Louis, they didn't need to talk, just being there was enough. The tears lasted another five days, through visits of his mum and sisters, even the kids, although he tried to hide it for their sake and then finally he calmed down and started looking for solutions.

Harry and all three kids had come with him to his last physiotherapy appointment, and they all matched his grin when he finally walked out of the small gym at the rehabilitation centre. It had been almost a year after that dreaded Sunday morning and finally Louis was pretty much back to his old self. His leg still hurt sometimes, mostly depending on the weather, but he was doing just fine and he was looking forward to the new job he'd be starting the next week. Unlike his expectations, he had discovered he loved being a stay-at-home-dad, and after a couple of weeks spent with the kids in their daily routine, he'd been looking for a job he could do from home. Another couple of weeks later, the idea of Louis Tomlinson Coaching had been born, and there were already four clients registered for him to help with the management of their carreer and private life. Louis had experienced first hand how important a good balance between the two was, and he wanted to share his experience with other sports professionals. 

Harry on the other hand, had felt a bit lost when Louis had recovered enough to fend for himself, and even more when he started helping around the house and with the kids. He too started thinking about options for his future and only a couple of months later, he was proud to say he was a working man again. Being a legal counsellor at the adoption agency they'd worked with for Beth and Jack offered him enough challenges without jeopardizing his family life.

Harry smiled at Louis as they watched their eldest daughter walk into her new school. She'd finished elementary school with flying colours and was starting middle school today. She'd protested about her dads dropping her off at the school gates, but they wouldn't give in, at last agreeing to at least stay in the car then. "Ready to go pick up Grace then?" he asked and Louis smiled back, nodding. They'd had a lot of doubts about this latest adventure they were indulging into, but deep down they both knew it was the right decision. Something that was only confirmed when the gynaecologist showed them a 4D image of their unborn son's face, and was that a dimple on his left cheek?

Louis would never admit it out loud, but he did cry at the ultrasound, and he did again three months later, when he held their youngest in his arms and told the midwife they'd call him Luke (because Harry had reasoned that Tommy Tomlinson would qualify as one of Louis' worst ideas ever).

Yes, both Harry and Louis could say their lives had been turned upside down, and Louis loved taking care of their new baby in whom he saw his husband more and more every day. But it probably had been for the better, as they had never been happier than today, surrounded by their four children watching Stoke FC losing the semi-finals for the Champions League.


End file.
